NEW YEAR, OLD GOALS.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I figured I should post this before wishing everyone a happy new year makes me look like the drunk cousin at the family barbecues (you know the one). I have mixed feelings about the new year. It makes me sad because the holiday season is over. There’s no more magic in the air. The world has a certain blah-ness to it. On the other hand, there’s a feeling of hope and new-ness to it that makes the changing of the calendar so much more significant. Pretty soon though the hope will fade, the new-ness will wear off and we’ll look at the calendar and think “It’s January ___th already?! This year is FLYING”. Before all of that happens, I want to publicly (to the 5 people who read this) announce my “goals” for the new year. I hesitate to use the word goals because goals are meant to be met after a while and I sometimes, OK usually, forget to finish what I start.
- I NEED A JOB. This week marks the 7th anniversary of me being at my high school job. I was able to get out of high school, but not out of this place. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be there this long. I won’t go into how I feel about the place just in case someone from there finds this. However, I will say that working there has been the most exhausting, tumultuous, educational ride I’ve ever been on. One that will definitely leave my head spinning for a while after I finally get off. It’s been a good run but I’m ready to explore the rest of the amusement park. There are many rides I want to try and games I want to play.
- I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. So cliche - I know. It’s just gotten to a point where I can’t stand it anymore. I look in the mirror and the person who looks back at me does not match the picture in my head. There’s not much more to say. Wish me luck.
- I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE. Ok, so that was a little dramatic. Let’s face it though, there’s no way to say “I want a boyfriend” without sounding needy, desperate or childish. I’m 24 years old; enough is enough. My 6 year old self is getting worried that when I’m 30 I’ll be the only single person in the nursing home (side note: I found a school journal from when I was in 1st grade and one of the entries said something about when I’m 30, I’ll be so old that I’ll need a wheelchair. When I read that, I laughed so hard I almost needed some Depends - ahead of schedule.) My 8 year old self is pretty disappointed that my last name isn’t DiCaprio yet. I think she’s more disappointed that it never will be. I’m not looking to get married or anything but it would be nice to know that someone might want to marry me someday. (Does that make sense? Moving on.)
- I WANT TO FIND MY PASSION. Right now, I feel like I have so many pots on the stove and none of them are getting heated up. I started this blog to try to light the fire. I like to write, I just get sidetracked. I usually either forget to post something, or I don’t know what to write, or I’ll start a post and then I won’t like how it’s coming together so I shut the window and watch videos on Youtube instead. I’m too hard on myself and I need to change that. Sometimes I’ll write a post that I feel isn’t good at all but after I post it go back to read it a few weeks later and I surprise myself. This will probably be one of those posts. This is the second time I’m writing it because I stupidly didn’t save it the first time and tried to insert a picture and lost the whole thing. For the record, I loved the first one. It was one of the best things I’ve written, in my opinion. It’s the same thing with my photography. For my thesis project in college I made a photo book of pictures that I took of my family’s house on the beach and all of the surrounding areas. When I handed it in my professor glanced at it and asked me if I took all of the pictures myself. I told him that I had. He seemed impressed. I was too embarrassed to stick around any longer so I wished him a happy summer and I got out of there. I checked my grades everyday expecting the worst. (The “worst” being a B; I think that’s the lowest I could handle. I worked HARD on that project. No matter what anyone says.) It turned out that I got an A. Not to toot my own horn, but whenever I show my copy of the book to anyone I get such positve feedback on my photos. (toot, toot!) It’s humbling, really.
- I WANT TO RECONNECT. I feel like I’ve lost touch with so many people that I used to be so close to. I’m horrible with the phone and I acknowledge that, but here’s the funny thing about the phone - it works both ways. MIND BLOWING. I know. I’m willing to work on using the phone if you’re willing to work with me. I’m a plan maker. If I make plans with you, I’m sticking to them and expect you to do the same. Don’t stand me up. Don’t call me last minute to cancel. Don’t pretend to forget we had plans (or even worse, don’t actually forget we had plans). Don’t cut the night short. I thrive on the past (which is a problem in it’s own) and love to reminisce about things. Deal with it for a few hours.
Other things I want for 2012 (and beyond):
- to be a happier person
- to be a more positive person
- to stop sweating the small stuff
- to be healthy
- for my family, friends and loved ones to be happy, healthy and safe
- to stop worrying and being so nervous
- to remember to save my work
- for the 1st post to magically appear (wishful thinking)
- a new Backstreet Boys album (you think I’m joking?)